Bookmark This Site
Keep up with our Tips



Tip of the Day RSS Feed
Fresh Reptile Tips Daily


Sponsor Program
Our tips are powerful.
Our writers are experts.
Our results are guaranteed.

 

Listen to our Radio Show
Hot topics for both consumers
and webmarketers
on WebmasterRadio.FM

Every Wednesday, 4PM Eastern.

 



What do you get when you cross a snake with a Lego set?

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake with a Lego set?

A: A boa constructor.
6.7 6.7
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating



Why did the two boa constrictors go out on a date?

Q: Why did the two boa constrictors go out on a date?

A: Because they had a crush on each other.
6.5 6.5
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What do you get when you cross a snake and a bird?

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a bird?

A: A feather boa.
6.5 6.5
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

How can you revive a snake that looks dead?

Q: How can you revive a snake that looks dead?

A: With mouse-to-mouth resucitation.
6.5 6.5
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What´s the nicest thing about venomous snakes?

Q: What´s the nicest thing about venomous snakes?

A: They´ve got poison-ality!
6.5 6.5
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Why should you never trust a snake?

Q: Why should you never trust a snake?

A: They always speak with a forked tongue.
6.3 6.3
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What kind of snake belongs on your windshield?

Q: What kind of snake belongs on your windshield?

A: A viper.
6.2 6.2
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Why can´t cobras do math?

Q: Why can´t cobras do math?

A: Because they aren´t adders.
6.2 6.2
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What is a snake´s favorite dance?

Q: What is a snake´s favorite dance?

A: The mamba!
6.2 6.2
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What do you call a polite snake who works for the government?

Q: What do you call a polite snake who works for the government?

A: A civil serpent.
6.1 6.1
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What do you get when you cross a snake and a trumpet?

Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a trumpet?

A: A snake in the brass.
6.1 6.1
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What do you call a reptile that sits on the computer screen?

Q: What do you call a lizard that sits on the computer screen?

A: A monitor lizard.
6.1 6.1
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Why don´t snakes like being weighed?

Q: Why don´t snakes like being weighed?

A: Because they have their own scales.
6.1 6.1
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Why did the python cross the road? (bad joke)

Q: Why did the python cross the road?

A: To eat the chicken on the other side.
6.1 6.1
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Special snakes for sale (joke)

Buying expensive snakes from breeders that are supposed to be heterozygous for this trait or that can turn out to be a real nightmare. I have seen what looked suspiciously like freshly wild caught snakes being sold at high prices as "het for" something. This prompted me to write the following ad:

For Sale: a litter of baby cornsnake vipers that are het for legs, double het for wings and triple het for fur! They are bargain priced at only $5,000 each. They look a lot like normal cornsnakes but really they are rare cornsnake vipers from the Ituri forest that have evolved to mimic cornsnakes so that people will import them and keep them as pets. They are all venomoid, too.

The seller of these snakes is obviously het for your wallet, and anyone who buys one must be het for retard.

Send me your money now to reserve the pick of the litter! The first five people to send me $5,000 also get a free tadpole. The tadpoles are very special; their father was actually a prince, so they are het for royalty.
6.0 6.0
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

Knock, knock. Who´s there? Snakeskin.

Knock, knock.
Who´s there?
Snakeskin.
Snakeskin who?
Snakeskin bite, but we´d rather run away.
-- Bailey
6.0 6.0
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating

What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a computer?

Q: What do you get when you cross a crocodile with a computer?

A: A mega-bite.
5.9 5.9
Save Tip Comments Tip Rating



Learn more about our Exclusive Program we offer our clients.


 
LifeTips is part of ideaLaunch, the hub for a group of websites offering
solutions that help clients improve mind share, market share and profit online.
Privacy Guaranteed.
Satisfaction Required.